To preface, this blog post has been on my heart for 10 years, and I started the draft back in 2015, but the time has not been right until now. Dave gave me permission to include him in it but it is my personal journey and experience that led me to write it.
There is a hymn entitled “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” that I wasn’t very familiar with until after we moved to Texas. There is a line in it that goes “Here I raise my Ebenezer; hither by thy help I’m come”…… At first, I didn’t know what that meant. In 1 Samuel Chapter 7, after God miraculously delivered the Israelites from the Philistines in battle, Samuel (verse 12):
“took a stone, and set it between Mizpeh and Shen, and called the name of it Ebenezer, saying, Hitherto hath the Lord helped us.”
That got me thinking about how God has been so faithful to Dave and me, and I felt I wanted to set a spiritual marker of some kind before God for His faithfulness at 10 years, but never got back to it. Then, as 20 years has come around, and so much more has happened, I felt compelled to finish it.
Going back to the beginning of this 20+ year journey………on September 20th, 2005, Dave and I drove away from our little rented cottage in “Camelot” (California), Dave driving our rental moving truck with all of our belongings, and I driving my little red Tercel with our two fish and two rabbits in tow, headed for Texas. We were very excited to be part of a budding like-minded Christian neighborhood community. And last month marks 20 years since that day.
I believe God is gracious not to let us know the future, because if someone would have told me back then all that would take place in the next 20 years, I think it might have overwhelmed me right then and there knowing the difficulties that would be faced. (How many fellow Christians can relate?) Right there is such a great reminder that God is sovereign; He accomplishes His purpose and His will for His glory, and it is not about us, no matter how much we feel in control or what plans we have, even if we think they are in sync with God’s.
BUT GOD, in His faithfulness, love and grace, has brought us through, and I wanted to take the opportunity at this milestone in time to set up an altar to God in my heart and “raise my Ebenezer”.
I can honestly say it’s only by God’s help that we have come through the last 20 years and have seen and felt His hand of faithfulness, patience, loving kindness and tender mercies over our time here thus far.
Without going into detail, weaved into these years have been some times of extreme difficulty physically and spiritually…….in terms of trials, afflictions and, yes, lots of chastisements from the hand of a loving Father, and even devastating heartbreaks at times. But here Dave and I are, raising our Ebenezers! Has my flesh longed for more ease over these years? Yes. Has my spirit longed for no more trials and tribulations over these years? Yes.
Early on, when things started going in ways we had not planned, through currency of prayer and supplication, we “bought” a spiritual bucket labeled “I Don’t Understand Your Plans, Lord”. That bucket has grown quite a bit over the years. What we have learned is that all we can do is to enter into God’s courts with thanksgiving, place our prayers in the bucket, and leave it at His feet. His will is what matters, and we don’t have to understand it.
Looking back as I write this, I look at all of the small and great ways God has been faithful, and say “Wow! Look at that! And wow! Look at that!” over and over. In our off-grid lifestyle, we have:
- Never run out of water, even through times of extreme drought
- Been protected from major fire danger right in our back yard
- Been protected from severe weather
- Many times God has brought completely unexpected provision
And, talk about amazing provision, God knew exactly what type of husband I would need through all of this (and I pray I am the type of wife he has needed) and I am so deeply grateful to God for Dave, my husband.
We have come to greatly appreciate this verse:
Ecclesiastes 7:13 – “Consider the work of God: for who can make that straight, which he hath made crooked?“
We thought we were on a pretty straight path, but He has made it crooked. It is His work. May He be glorified in it.
As I’m sure many Christians can attest, it is in the most difficult times that we learn the most powerful spiritual lessons, or we experience the most precious times with God. Would we trade them? No!
I thought I would briefly highlight a few game changer moments in our time here thus far that have helped us realize that it’s not about us, it’s about Him and His glory:
- We read a book entitled “Charity and Its Fruits” by Jonathan Edwards and, by God’s grace, it has opened our eyes to see our fleshly nature and ask God to grant us the desire to choose charity (love) towards others, helping us to approach situations with God’s glory in mind.
- Another game changing book has been Thomas Manton’s A Treatise of Self-Denial. Don’t read (or listen to) this book unless you are serious. But the spiritual benefits are invaluable. The main topics are to:
- Deny our own righteousness
- Deny our own wisdom, strength and graces
- Deny our dependence on the supplies of the outward life
- Deny our own self-will
- Submit to God’s providence by patience
- Deny our self-love
- Deny our interests and enjoyments
- Deny our self-seeking
- Deny our self to our neighbor
- Luke 9:62 says:
“And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”
The reasons Dave and I moved here and that have shaped our spiritual worldview, manifested by how we live our lives, has never changed. So, we continue to keep our hand to the plough, as we put more “I don’t understands” in the bucket, and pray for God to glorify Himself however He sees fit. We may never understand in this life why things have gone the way they have, but that’s okay.
- That cow chalkboard (see the blog image above) has been displayed in our house for several years now, and I have spoken it out loud to myself many times when I’m tempted to complain or murmur:
1 Thess 5:18 – “In EVERY thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
Our pastor recently preached a sermon on Hebrews 12 (vs. 1):
“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run WITH PATIENCE the race that is set before us….”
It was a great reminder that it is a marathon and not a sprint.
But then while running, most importantly (brought out more in another sermon) (vs 2):
“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Amen! And we ask God to help us not grow faint or weary. Philippians 3:13-14 says:
“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
The “About” section of our blog says:
“This site is our journal of what we pray is our sojourn of life (Hebrews 11:8-10) along the narrow way (Matthew 7:14), even the old paths (Jeremiah 6:16), submitting to the Bible as a light unto both (Psalms 119:105). It is our prayer that these documented moments in our earthly time benefit whom God might choose to edify, but ultimately that God glorifies Himself through them.“
And we mean that more today than ever before.
As with Samuel and the Israelites, God’s faithfulness and provision to us has come in small and great ways, some truly miraculous. And so, for the Lord’s blessings through it all, I raise my Ebenezer of thankfulness and worship to Him! May His will be done for His glory.
And lastly, there is another hymn I had never heard of until recently that grabbed my heart. It’s called Begone Unbelief by John Newton. It also references “each sweet Ebenezer” in the lyrics (see below).
To my precious Christian brothers and sisters, I pray these lyrics will be a blessing and encouragement to you. Please look back on your own life and raise your own sweet Ebenezer as an altar to our Almighty, loving and powerful God who has brought us through this life and will continue to do so until He calls us home to heaven.
Susan
| 1 | Begone, unbelief, My Savior is near, And for my relief Will surely appear; By prayer let me wrestle, And He will perform; With Christ in the vessel, I smile at the storm. |
| 2 | Though dark be my way, Since He is my Guide, ’Tis mine to obey, ’Tis His to provide; Though cisterns be broken, And creatures all fail, The word He hath spoken Shall surely prevail. |
| 3 | His love, in time past, Forbids me to think He’ll leave me at last In trouble to sink: Each sweet Ebenezer I have in review Confirms His good pleasure To help me quite through. |
| 4 | Why should I complain Of want or distress, Temptation or pain? He told me no less; The heirs of salvation, I know from His Word, Through much tribulation Must follow their Lord. |
| 5 | How bitter that cup No heart can conceive, Which He drank quite up, That sinners might live! His way was much rougher And darker than mine; Did Christ, my Lord, suffer, And shall I repine? |
| 6 | Since all that I meet Shall work for my good, The bitter is sweet, The medicine, food; Though painful at present, ’Twill cease before long, And then, oh, how pleasant The conqueror’s song! |

